Small or Big? Now or Later?

Just press the pause button in your life, just for 5 minutes, for I understand, Time is indeed money. Discussing time-benefit analysis happens more than cost-benefit analysis be it in a board meeting or in a small lab meeting these days ! Read ahead now.

The moon that you so far didn't notice tonight is so beautifully shining amidst the brilliant stars. So what have you been doing today? Make a list. Just to add to our elevated sense of well-being, lets assume you indeed accomplished a million things - be it as small as catching that bus on time or making that perfect blend of coffee to something as big as getting that all-important deal sealed, or negotiating a multi-billion dollar merger. Include them all. You might be a slogging student or a busy businessman, a non-entity or a celebrity. You might have had the best day of your life or have had the roughest of a ride. That's immaterial. Just list down what all you did.

Now imagine your brain were a camera. Look at the bigger picture. ZOOM OUT. How many things you did in your day actually contribute (even if negligibly small) to something big that you always wanted to do in life - your so called long-term ambitions, even if that is simply "to be happy"? How many things did you NOT do today just so that you could do something productive? Oh wait, I heard something - there - the balloon just burst..Oh that was mine, let me be honest. You know what the balloon is.

If you haven't realized yet, the way we define productivity, success and everything else we search for on an everyday basis, isn't actually the way we want it. What is so important today apparently turns out to be one of those 'yea, it wasn't something that I could have just glossed over, but it is not the end of the world either' types.It looks like we aren't being productive enough in a single day to be on track to achieve those dreams we always cherished. If nothing in your list could make it to the prized productive list, so be it. The first fact in becoming more productive is to accept there is scope for improvement. And I reiterate, I do not mean productivity at work alone.

So what the heck are we doing? We spend 24 hours a day, extremely exhausting ones, and that doesn't contribute even a tiny little bit to where we want to be? REALLY???? It is now that the realization dawns, didn't someone tell us "The journey matters more than the destination"? Success doesn't happen in leaps and if it does, it doesn't last. It happens in tiny (for the engineers - it is the perfect example of an infinitesimal change!) little chunks that make up the perfect picture. Indeed, it happens to those people who are too busy looking for it, too busy to notice it.

So, in the process of chasing a few things, do we miss out on something vital, do we fail to enjoy the journey while constantly illusioning of accelerating towards the destination? How long are you going to skip breakfast, how long are you postpone making that phonecall just because you had something seemingly more important to do at that moment ? How much has that 'seemingly important' task scored on your productivity list at the end of the day? Does that mean you are getting your priorities wrong?

Well, the mistake that we often make is not in prioritizing the smaller tasks in our everyday life - we have evolved to be perfect in it - what to do at this moment is often obvious or dictated by your Google Calender. But where we go wrong is prioritizing the elements of the larger picture. Yes ofcourse, money is definitely important, career defines who you are, you have not come this far to quit. But where do we draw the line between doing something to achieve a dream in the future and living the moment? Do we draw the line at all? Is life just all about those dreams so much so that it can engulf your everyday being?

Yes, all of us nurture many dreams both on the professional front and on the personal front. And agreed, being a dreamer is the best you can get in life. But how far will you go to turn that to a reality? How many sacrifices is it worth of? How long are you going to keep making those sacrifices in search of that seemingly ever-elusive dream?

Obviously, the only way out is to enjoy the journey, pay attention to little things, derive pleasure from them, be whole-heartedly content with very small successes. ZOOM IN on life with your brain camera. Smile often - for yourself, just for yourself. From time to time, get crazy, become a child, play with water, eat a weird combination, laugh at yourself, sleep, stare through the window without thinking of anything - DO NOTHING (the most difficult to do, of all, trust me!) I would definitely argue 'doing nothing' is a time that improves productivity like no other. After all, on what can you draw the best-ever painting? An empty canvas.

And as you sit and stare through a window, looking at the soft moonlight, once a while, you realize a few things and some people choose to call it bliss. You - Realize how you always used to dream in the past about living that life you are currently living and complaining about. Realize how your life unfolds in such a way that what appeared to be the end of everything turned out infact to be the best thing that could have happened to you. Realize the person who appeared to be the most important one in the world is a non-entity in your heart now. Realize how that broken relationship has actually taught you a lesson and made you better. Realize how you wouldn't have had this wonderful partner in life if it wasn't for that horribly painful break-up. Realize how you wouldn't have gotten this far in the job if it wasn't for that previous bugging boss. Yeah baby, this crazy thing called life makes sense only in retrospect. So count your blessings now. You are CHOSEN to live this moment in this position, amidst these people at that place. No one else. Enjoy that previlege.

So get back to your list, put a big tick mark and a smiley next to the little things. If you haven't written down anything of that sort, go get a life! Remember to pat yourself and put two smileys against that perfectly blended coffee or staring out the window and watching the rain for 5 mintues - for these are the moments where ideas are born and relationships are saved. Did someone say long-term productivity? These small things influence the realization of your dreams in ways you can't imagine and articulate purely by logic. Look at the moon again now, isn't it smiling at you?

As the last word, I am not saying we ought to give up on the race called life. Be as competitive as you would ever be, be assertively aggressive. But on the highway, do NOT forget to notice those beautiful green fields, the colors of the sky or the river beneath that bridge while you drive. Those are the ones that make the race more worthwhile - because you drive with a smile after noticing them. The acceleration lost in those moments is totally worth it. Not to mention the disclaimer - just notice, if you keep looking at and concentrating on these little things throughout the drive, you are probably going to crash!

Here's wishing you happiness - small or big and the power to notice it. Godspeed.

P.S - Sorry for the misleading title, pun fully intended!

Just thought I'd drop in to say Hi! :)

As I realize, it has been really long since I posted anything sane. It has been a quarter of a year and I haven't posted anything? Really? Problem of plenty? Just that too many things have been happening in life to write about any one thing in particular.

But I realized blogging has been such a big source of strength for me, a reminder, a friend, a diary, a nostalgia bringing charm and whatnot. Not to mention all my unpublished posts. I should definitely write more often.

So let me welcome the Spring with a blog post soon. Suggest me what to write on, maybe I am in the Writer's block phase!

Love.

Behene de...

Wants to speak out loud and clear on a million things. Don't know where to start. Nothing that bothers me, nothing that excites me like crazy, though I would have rated hundreds of events that are happening now that way, probably two months before.

I am a changed soul now, much hardened, much more realistic, much more on the face, no more the sweet person who can accomodate everyone and everything. Oops, Oh god, I am growing up! No, please, let me not. Peaks of fun followed by peaks of crazy work, followed by peaks of emotional thinking. What's happening? Maybe, I should sleep more?

Pass hai phir bhi paas nahin.. Humko yeh gham raaz nahin.. Don't know why, but I wanted to write these lines here.

Yeah, some people have indeed left a mark, an indelible one on my life in the past. Unforgettable people with an incredible charm. But suddenly you realize, as I had always feared, you are the same, they are the same, but the thing between you isn't the same anymore. I am afraid, we actually took all those words we said during the farewell way too seriously, especially that effing "Time to move on in life!". How I wish not!

Ok, not all that's happening in life is grim n sober - it's indeed beautiful. Maybe, this is how a change looks like in life. And as they say, a change is the only one that's permanent. Let me go with the flow, as I always have. Behene de!

Ig Nobels

Now, if the Nobel prize is too far, out of reach, maybe I should give it a thought.. IgNobel sounds cool!
Reproduced from Deric Bownds' MindBlog, which inturn refers to a Science article:


ScienceNow does a summary of this year's ignoble prizes. This year's ceremony was an exception for including a cash prize: A $100 trillion note from Zimbabwe. (The note's actual value: nada.) One prize returns again to work that I have mentioned in a previous post, showing that slime molds can do as good or better a job than humans in designing transport networks. Here is a list of some of the others:
Engineering: Marine biologist Karina Acevedo-Whitehouse of the Zoological Society of London and colleagues for their method of collecting samples of whale snot using a remote-controlled helicopter.

Medicine: Psychologist Simon Rietveld of the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands and colleagues for discovering that asthma symptoms can be successfully treated with roller-coaster rides.

Physics: Public health researcher Lianne Parkin of the University of Otago in New Zealand and colleagues for proving that wearing socks on the outside of shoes reduces slips on icy surfaces.

Peace: Psychologist Richard Stephens of Keele University in the United Kingdom and colleagues for demonstrating that swearing alleviates pain.

Public health: Microbiologist Manuel Barbeito of the Industrial Health and Safety Office at Fort Detrick, Maryland, and colleagues for determining that microbes flourish in the beards of scientists.

Economics: The executives of Goldman Sachs, AIG, Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch, and Magnetar "for creating and promoting new ways to invest money--ways that maximize financial gain and minimize financial risk for the world economy, or for a portion thereof."

Chemistry: Engineer Eric Adams of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge and colleagues for disproving the belief that oil and water don't mix.

Management: Social scientist Alessandro Pluchino of the University of Catania in Italy and colleagues for mathematically demonstrating that organizations can increase efficiency by giving people promotions at random.

Biology: Biologist Libiao Zhang of the University of Bristol in the United Kingdom and colleagues for their study of fellatio in fruit bats.

Serial killer!

Well, I thought I shouldn't write this on a public forum. But this is one significant day of my life, so much so that I just can't let it skip by without a trace. (No charges against me/my lab or anyone related to me for this, no factual things quoted in this post. All procedures approved by animal welfare committees concerned).

This was a day that marks the acceptance of me as a researcher by myself. Today was the day I did a surgery on a mouse and made slices out of its brain. I did that all by myself for the first time today, though I had watched it being done a couple of more times before. Well to watch it and to do it are totally different things altogether, as I now realize.

Morning I dropped in just to watch Anne-Marie perform the surgery( I am for sure going to remember her for long for teaching me so patiently, others in the lab deserve a mention too). Once she was done, she suggested I do it from scratch all by myself. And I really wanted to get over my inhibitions for doing it, so I did it eventually. I was pretty confident about the steps to be followed in the animal house, or so did I think, then. Infact during the first surgery of the day that I watched, I picked up the mouse from the animal house. So I thought it wasn't really a big deal. So I go in to that isolated animal house, all by myself, nobody even anywhere close except stinking mice. Do all the protocols that I am supposed to, fully armed, totally clean into the cage room. I take out the cage and there, four cute nice fluffy shiny mice, playing with each other as if today was the last day of their life. Yes, it was going to be. All they knew was the food that was in there. And a huge pair of hands over them trying to wave to them!

Then came the most horrible part - all I had to do was to catch it by its tail and then put it onto another box so that I can take it to my bench. There I froze. Just froze, couldn't think, couldn't move. My heart pumping in my mouth, for that little thing. Not that I am a big fan of animals in general, nor am I one of those who create a big hue and cry about use of animals in research. But to DO it, omg, I would have had a cardiac arrest!

So I waited and waited and waited... Put the cage back, took it out once again,.. Waited.. Waited... all the while, talking to myself, cheering myself up, apologizing to the mice, talking to them, telling small prayers to them! OMG, you might think I am crazy, but I am what I am, the least I can do to that little thing out of which I make my bread and butter.

Once I did that, the rest was OK, not as horrifying as it was earlier. Even the decapitation part of it looked simple enough. But it has made this day an eventful one. Makes me wanna think, "that's life ain't it? TRANSIENT". What's a good day's work to one person, costs the life to another. Unfortunately the analogy doesn't stop with the equation between a researcher and a mouse alone, it applies to much higher examples. And it isn't even survival of the fittest in this - you would be the first one to be 'sacrificed' if you were the best of the lot! Makes my faith in destiny grow stronger!!

All said, when I had the brain slices in my hand, my joy knew no bounds, I wanted to go tell the entire world that I had done that! It was everyday work for people here, nothing even close to a special moment, but only a corner of my heart knows that it was a bet against myself, against my inhibitions and what I thought was the limit of my ability. Now, I don't know if i even did it correctly, if it was what ideally a good slice should be. But I crossed the lag phase. I am happy to have made a beginning.

God help me with the rest, as always.

How much work can get me thinking!