
OK,enough of amateur movie reviews on my blog. My friend sent me an sms saying - "The biggest comedy of this century - we are ENGINEERS!" Oh yes, what a joke! Four years have just gone by. Whoooooosh! Just like that! Ofcourse, memories remain and thankfully, the sour ones dont even form 1% of the ones i really cherish. As it sit and think, at the fag end of this ethereal experience, I can't really narrow down on one incident or one person or one day or one thing or one issue to talk about. Its the total package that makes it extremely special. But those memories shall be talked about later, making us cherish them all the more. No, I am not going to talk about how great college was, and not definitely about how badly I am going to miss it. This is about a weird practice of mine, a kind of confession in a way. Not many of my friends, even the closest know this little thing i have for saving little things, saving photos and smses - simply for the memories that I attach to them.
The person I am, I get close to people very easily, i get comfortable with different kinds of people, or atleast that's what i have been made to understand about myself for so long, whether or not it's true. But there is a serious flip side to it. I also end up missing the people very very badly once we take different directions in life, and it somehow happens that meeting them again doesnt seem very plausible often. The result is that I start treasuring little trinkets, ranging from tissue papers to photos to smses to small cute keychains, little gifts, certain dresses, etc etc etc.. Most importantly, chat archives ( I literally had tears when my computer crashed and all my chat archives were gone with the yahoo messenger) Not necessarily because, they were the best moments that had radically changed my life, and not because they were from exceptional people or the most important ones in my life, but because I really felt different at that moment, and living through that experience gave me a unique kind of feeling. And every time i see/touch/feel/read each of the memorabilia, I relive that moment. For similar reasons, sometimes i feel i need to pen down things, so that the feeling that the experience gave me stays evergreen. And i have, written down a lot of such things that I wouldn't dare let anybody else read. The vulnerable me, with all my innocence and longing for a small, contented happiness intact is the author and that's the simple reason I wouldn't let anybody else read it.
As years roll by, we might remember an incident, a person who made a difference and probably that feeling when we felt hurt. On the other hand, the small, little, cute nothings and those fleeting moments wherein you experience absolute bliss go uncaptured in time. As they rightly say in VTV, 'andha nodi' just slips by, even though you might remember in vivid detail what happened that day. This writing and memorabilia freezes all those little nothings and gives you a wonderful high when you recount them. And this happens not only to the sweetest of memories, but to the not-so-sweet ones that made you learn a lesson as well.
So right now, this thought has been running through mind. Am i right in doing it? After all, it has been giving me absolute happiness all these years, nothing has happened that I would want to stop doing it. On the other hand, am i over-burdened by these memories? As the memorabilia accumulate, does it stand for nothing else but clutter in my cupboards? Add to it the pain of guarding it and reasoning it out to people who discover it. Is it really worth it all?
Does everyone else treasure memories this way? Or is it just me? Is there any other way you remember things, places, people, hang-outs, get-togethers? Tell me please, because, the present was shaped by the past and memories then, can help you face the present in all courage and infuse in you that indomitable spirit to look up to a brighter future. And the past, has taught us something or the other always, if only we care to look out for the lesson.. It might be as simple as what makes you happy or otherwise.. As simple as what kind of people you go well with and those that you don't... These trinkets and little somthings that i treasure make the memories surface again, indeed, they make a time machine... I am not going to stop doing it. After all, nobody else in the world has such a better time machine at their disposal! Comments?
9 comments:
woah i love the title!!! :)
to tell you the truth i have saved few little things myself,but that s not my only 'pensieve'.. I just have the feeling, I cant throw this away.. Let this go into my priceless treasure!.. but i have never had the habit of opening them unless i have to clean the house :p And its a wonderful feeling when I remember some really cute memories! And then there are some moments I have frozen in mind, which will remain forever, fresh and live and I can relive them while I happily day dream sitting behind a window!.. Windows have an effect on me.. when ever I sit looking upon a window, I seem to travel down a memory lane each time!.. Windows are my pensieve :)!
This was a wonderful post madhu.. A blissful one.. I loved everything about it..!!!
Thank you vini. It really gives me an undefinable feel when i know that someone else appreciates the same things i do.. Yes, windows, (especially the MTC bus last seat windows for me :D :D) rains, glass houses, loneliness, slambooks, smses, a million other cute things... all share this quality... Much love to you and everyone around who has made my life special. and i have realised it all the more this week specially! oh how i wish time could freeze :) yes, it does, in my memories!
i rather envy u. to save things like that!
@Ajay : thanks for the comment!! i've realised the worth of them too.. I shall continue saving them up :)
good luck for ur application process. lemme know when u decide where to come. btw u look so like ur mom...
Looking like my mom.. Hmm true, almost everyone says that, i even sound very much like her on the phone :)
And yea, its Carnegie Mellon University, PhD in biological sciences :) After some big contemplation on whether to go for masters or phd, I somehow made up my mind on this one.. the visa is yet to be done though.. :)
Congrats!
The precious little things... Nice one madhu :)
I see the emotional , mushy mushy side of you ;)
But trust me you are not the only one doing this... everyone does it in their own way.. Isn't these little that make soooo much more worth-living.. Am happy you relish all these times, for you might never have the same set of things..ppl..place..n its this impermanence that makes life exciting :)
Hope you have many many such precious moments :)
@ajay - thank you :)
@vino - very true.. they make life more worthwhile.. thanks for the comment! :)
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