Sunday, April 25, 2010

The precious little somethings...


OK,enough of amateur movie reviews on my blog. My friend sent me an sms saying - "The biggest comedy of this century - we are ENGINEERS!" Oh yes, what a joke! Four years have just gone by. Whoooooosh! Just like that! Ofcourse, memories remain and thankfully, the sour ones dont even form 1% of the ones i really cherish. As it sit and think, at the fag end of this ethereal experience, I can't really narrow down on one incident or one person or one day or one thing or one issue to talk about. Its the total package that makes it extremely special. But those memories shall be talked about later, making us cherish them all the more. No, I am not going to talk about how great college was, and not definitely about how badly I am going to miss it. This is about a weird practice of mine, a kind of confession in a way. Not many of my friends, even the closest know this little thing i have for saving little things, saving photos and smses - simply for the memories that I attach to them.

The person I am, I get close to people very easily, i get comfortable with different kinds of people, or atleast that's what i have been made to understand about myself for so long, whether or not it's true. But there is a serious flip side to it. I also end up missing the people very very badly once we take different directions in life, and it somehow happens that meeting them again doesnt seem very plausible often. The result is that I start treasuring little trinkets, ranging from tissue papers to photos to smses to small cute keychains, little gifts, certain dresses, etc etc etc.. Most importantly, chat archives ( I literally had tears when my computer crashed and all my chat archives were gone with the yahoo messenger) Not necessarily because, they were the best moments that had radically changed my life, and not because they were from exceptional people or the most important ones in my life, but because I really felt different at that moment, and living through that experience gave me a unique kind of feeling. And every time i see/touch/feel/read each of the memorabilia, I relive that moment. For similar reasons, sometimes i feel i need to pen down things, so that the feeling that the experience gave me stays evergreen. And i have, written down a lot of such things that I wouldn't dare let anybody else read. The vulnerable me, with all my innocence and longing for a small, contented happiness intact is the author and that's the simple reason I wouldn't let anybody else read it.

As years roll by, we might remember an incident, a person who made a difference and probably that feeling when we felt hurt. On the other hand, the small, little, cute nothings and those fleeting moments wherein you experience absolute bliss go uncaptured in time. As they rightly say in VTV, 'andha nodi' just slips by, even though you might remember in vivid detail what happened that day. This writing and memorabilia freezes all those little nothings and gives you a wonderful high when you recount them. And this happens not only to the sweetest of memories, but to the not-so-sweet ones that made you learn a lesson as well.

So right now, this thought has been running through mind. Am i right in doing it? After all, it has been giving me absolute happiness all these years, nothing has happened that I would want to stop doing it. On the other hand, am i over-burdened by these memories? As the memorabilia accumulate, does it stand for nothing else but clutter in my cupboards? Add to it the pain of guarding it and reasoning it out to people who discover it. Is it really worth it all?

Does everyone else treasure memories this way? Or is it just me? Is there any other way you remember things, places, people, hang-outs, get-togethers? Tell me please, because, the present was shaped by the past and memories then, can help you face the present in all courage and infuse in you that indomitable spirit to look up to a brighter future. And the past, has taught us something or the other always, if only we care to look out for the lesson.. It might be as simple as what makes you happy or otherwise.. As simple as what kind of people you go well with and those that you don't... These trinkets and little somthings that i treasure make the memories surface again, indeed, they make a time machine... I am not going to stop doing it. After all, nobody else in the world has such a better time machine at their disposal! Comments?