Idea for a series of posts!

I don't know what to call this phase in life. But it's very different from any of the ones I've been through before. Melancholic, ecstatic, boring, enthralling all at once, maybe oxymoronic would be a good word to describe it.

But one thing I can't deny is that it has been filled with defining moments - moments of awe, moments of gratitude, moments of extreme pain, moments of dreams coming true, moments of adrenaline rush, moments of fulfillment - what not. As they say, life's not measured by the number of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away. I've had quite a few of them I believe.


So inspired by this, (no I don't wanna attempt to copy it) http://1000awesomethings.com/ and this http://www.ted.com/talks/neil_pasricha_the_3_a_s_of_awesome.html I decided I would write super briefly (as if that would ever happen) about these moments, one by one. I have had the opportunity to experience things that many don't get to. I have yearned for things that not many want. I have tried to be someone that not many people would imagine themselves to be. But I think hailing from where I do, being the person I am, surrounded by the people I am with, traveling half the way across the globe when I was barely 21 gavage fed me with a million such moments worth remembering.

Yes, the flip side to it is that this blog would become a diary of sorts, but hey, isn't that the secret behind facebook's success? Everybody loves being in somebody else's shoes, peeping into somebody's windows. Here I throw the doors of my life open! Some posts might not be good for public reading, those shall sit in my drafts. Nevertheless, they need to be documented. Not just because I want to be a grandma with awesome stories for my grandchildren, but because they would bring a smile to my face and I personally value nostalgia a lot, probably more than I should.

Let's see how I fare.

What the Rain outside the window reminds me of...

What a rain!!! Thunder and lightning... The fiery Indian summer rain, thanks for showing up in Pittsburgh!! :D <3 it...

As I watch the lightning and thunder from inside, these thoughts that have been inside me for quite long, ( the first seeds of it probably had been sown by mom ) flowed out through my pensieve. Like many other posts, this shall have no editing.

Growing up near Srivilliputhur, Aandal has had an influence on me, a huge one. I admire the woman she was - for all that she dreamt of, all that she did, all that she sang, all that she was. The best example being,

ஆழி மழைக் கண்ணா! ஒன்று நீ கை கரவேல்

ஆழி உள் புக்கு முகந்து கொடு ஆர்த்து ஏறி

ஊழி முதல்வன் உருவம் போல் மெய் கறுத்துப்

பாழியம் தோளுடைப் பற்பநாபன் கையில்

ஆழி போல் மின்னி * வலம்புரி போல் நின்று அதிர்ந்து

தாழாதே சார்ங்கம் உதைத்த சர மழை போல்

வாழ உலகினில் பெய்திடாய் நாங்களும்

மார்கழி நீராட மகிழ்ந்தேலோர் எம்பாவாய்....

All I see in this is her love for grandeur. Her love for magnificence, her desire for the powerful. It is not the soft drizzle that she wants. Its the dark clouds, frightningly shiny lightning, resounding thunder, rain drops falling like arrows from His bow... Not the fleeting white clouds, gentle breeze and a soft drizzle. That's as meticulously detailed it can get. What a personality! And it can't manifest any better in words!

To quote another example, its every woman's fantasy to be married the way she dreams in Vaaranam Aayiram, only to be limited by the practical constraints of the world we live in. Who wouldn't want the man of dreams to come surrounded by the gradeur and majesty of a thousand elephants? Again, this is an exemplification of the character of Aandal, she doesn't want a silent, sober marriage. She is not the drizzle person, remember? Everything is amplified, in its best avatar. Maybe the T-storm isn't the first thing you'd want during your day, but coming to think of it, yes, I would definitely want that opulence, that splendor and majesty in everything about life, the most of it in the man of my dreams. Aandal is very much right, only that I am limited by modern day practicality issues. Be it the man of dreams or just about anything in life, the best is just what the doctor ordered for us! Dream big, Aandal showed us the way, after all.

Well, what can I say, make way for the man, chocolate boys!

P.S : In retrospect, I think I would be terribly wrong if I mention this thirupaavai and not talk about the science here. Look at this woman in love, explaining the water cycle in beautiful detail at a time when most of mankind wouldn't have even dreamt of it, let alone use it as an analogy. Simply amazing how she could connect an intricate scientific concept to religion and to the man of her dreams, isn't it?

Small or Big? Now or Later?

Just press the pause button in your life, just for 5 minutes, for I understand, Time is indeed money. Discussing time-benefit analysis happens more than cost-benefit analysis be it in a board meeting or in a small lab meeting these days ! Read ahead now.

The moon that you so far didn't notice tonight is so beautifully shining amidst the brilliant stars. So what have you been doing today? Make a list. Just to add to our elevated sense of well-being, lets assume you indeed accomplished a million things - be it as small as catching that bus on time or making that perfect blend of coffee to something as big as getting that all-important deal sealed, or negotiating a multi-billion dollar merger. Include them all. You might be a slogging student or a busy businessman, a non-entity or a celebrity. You might have had the best day of your life or have had the roughest of a ride. That's immaterial. Just list down what all you did.

Now imagine your brain were a camera. Look at the bigger picture. ZOOM OUT. How many things you did in your day actually contribute (even if negligibly small) to something big that you always wanted to do in life - your so called long-term ambitions, even if that is simply "to be happy"? How many things did you NOT do today just so that you could do something productive? Oh wait, I heard something - there - the balloon just burst..Oh that was mine, let me be honest. You know what the balloon is.

If you haven't realized yet, the way we define productivity, success and everything else we search for on an everyday basis, isn't actually the way we want it. What is so important today apparently turns out to be one of those 'yea, it wasn't something that I could have just glossed over, but it is not the end of the world either' types.It looks like we aren't being productive enough in a single day to be on track to achieve those dreams we always cherished. If nothing in your list could make it to the prized productive list, so be it. The first fact in becoming more productive is to accept there is scope for improvement. And I reiterate, I do not mean productivity at work alone.

So what the heck are we doing? We spend 24 hours a day, extremely exhausting ones, and that doesn't contribute even a tiny little bit to where we want to be? REALLY???? It is now that the realization dawns, didn't someone tell us "The journey matters more than the destination"? Success doesn't happen in leaps and if it does, it doesn't last. It happens in tiny (for the engineers - it is the perfect example of an infinitesimal change!) little chunks that make up the perfect picture. Indeed, it happens to those people who are too busy looking for it, too busy to notice it.

So, in the process of chasing a few things, do we miss out on something vital, do we fail to enjoy the journey while constantly illusioning of accelerating towards the destination? How long are you going to skip breakfast, how long are you postpone making that phonecall just because you had something seemingly more important to do at that moment ? How much has that 'seemingly important' task scored on your productivity list at the end of the day? Does that mean you are getting your priorities wrong?

Well, the mistake that we often make is not in prioritizing the smaller tasks in our everyday life - we have evolved to be perfect in it - what to do at this moment is often obvious or dictated by your Google Calender. But where we go wrong is prioritizing the elements of the larger picture. Yes ofcourse, money is definitely important, career defines who you are, you have not come this far to quit. But where do we draw the line between doing something to achieve a dream in the future and living the moment? Do we draw the line at all? Is life just all about those dreams so much so that it can engulf your everyday being?

Yes, all of us nurture many dreams both on the professional front and on the personal front. And agreed, being a dreamer is the best you can get in life. But how far will you go to turn that to a reality? How many sacrifices is it worth of? How long are you going to keep making those sacrifices in search of that seemingly ever-elusive dream?

Obviously, the only way out is to enjoy the journey, pay attention to little things, derive pleasure from them, be whole-heartedly content with very small successes. ZOOM IN on life with your brain camera. Smile often - for yourself, just for yourself. From time to time, get crazy, become a child, play with water, eat a weird combination, laugh at yourself, sleep, stare through the window without thinking of anything - DO NOTHING (the most difficult to do, of all, trust me!) I would definitely argue 'doing nothing' is a time that improves productivity like no other. After all, on what can you draw the best-ever painting? An empty canvas.

And as you sit and stare through a window, looking at the soft moonlight, once a while, you realize a few things and some people choose to call it bliss. You - Realize how you always used to dream in the past about living that life you are currently living and complaining about. Realize how your life unfolds in such a way that what appeared to be the end of everything turned out infact to be the best thing that could have happened to you. Realize the person who appeared to be the most important one in the world is a non-entity in your heart now. Realize how that broken relationship has actually taught you a lesson and made you better. Realize how you wouldn't have had this wonderful partner in life if it wasn't for that horribly painful break-up. Realize how you wouldn't have gotten this far in the job if it wasn't for that previous bugging boss. Yeah baby, this crazy thing called life makes sense only in retrospect. So count your blessings now. You are CHOSEN to live this moment in this position, amidst these people at that place. No one else. Enjoy that previlege.

So get back to your list, put a big tick mark and a smiley next to the little things. If you haven't written down anything of that sort, go get a life! Remember to pat yourself and put two smileys against that perfectly blended coffee or staring out the window and watching the rain for 5 mintues - for these are the moments where ideas are born and relationships are saved. Did someone say long-term productivity? These small things influence the realization of your dreams in ways you can't imagine and articulate purely by logic. Look at the moon again now, isn't it smiling at you?

As the last word, I am not saying we ought to give up on the race called life. Be as competitive as you would ever be, be assertively aggressive. But on the highway, do NOT forget to notice those beautiful green fields, the colors of the sky or the river beneath that bridge while you drive. Those are the ones that make the race more worthwhile - because you drive with a smile after noticing them. The acceleration lost in those moments is totally worth it. Not to mention the disclaimer - just notice, if you keep looking at and concentrating on these little things throughout the drive, you are probably going to crash!

Here's wishing you happiness - small or big and the power to notice it. Godspeed.

P.S - Sorry for the misleading title, pun fully intended!

Just thought I'd drop in to say Hi! :)

As I realize, it has been really long since I posted anything sane. It has been a quarter of a year and I haven't posted anything? Really? Problem of plenty? Just that too many things have been happening in life to write about any one thing in particular.

But I realized blogging has been such a big source of strength for me, a reminder, a friend, a diary, a nostalgia bringing charm and whatnot. Not to mention all my unpublished posts. I should definitely write more often.

So let me welcome the Spring with a blog post soon. Suggest me what to write on, maybe I am in the Writer's block phase!

Love.