My bro is reading conservation of natural resources and was reading aloud this most important question that comes everytime on every single question paper. "Differentiate between renewable and non-renewable resources". And all of a sudden, he appeared to me like the ultimate philosopher material. He popped a question out of nowhere -
"Do human beings fall under the renewable resource category or the non-renewable resource category?" I was actually bowled over! On one side, the person in me said 'non-renewable' because, renewable means there is an equivalent replacement, similar to the previous one in all respects, after a period of time. NO. How can i replace someone in my life with another? Just Impossible! Aren't these people just too precious, too unique, too one-of-a-kind to even think of a replacement? NO, human resource is non-renewable. Without an iota of doubt!
But on the other hand, let me look at it like a HR manager. There are millions of people out there, each one with his/her own story in life, each one with his/her own code of DNA, each one with his/her own skill sets. And out of sheer chance, there ought to be atleast a few people with similar skill sets, similar characteristics, similar thinking processes. Having said that, finding these similar people, though might be a task, it is still a feasible possibility. And talking of renewability, those few who are alike, need not even exist in the same time period to be called that way. So the answer is very clear - human resource, is a renewable resource, especially considering it over a period of time.
What looked like non-renewable, irreplaceable at one point of time, morphs into a thing that appears to be replaceable.Moving on to a more reflective philosophical state, indeed,
everything and everyone is transient. HR, is indeed renewable. What you are today, somebody else would be tomorrow. What is yours today, would be somebody else's tomorrow. It takes a great deal of experience, told and self-endured, to realise this. Incidentally, influences and such great knowledge of life can happen at the most unexpected of moments - I shall explain how this thought sunk into me.
It was Nayanthara, yes, she belongs to the tribe of actresses - a tribe we generally attibute stupidity to, not gyan. There's no place for wisdom in showbiz, or so do we assume. But ironically, when asked if she was insecure about her No.1 position in tamil(she had just finished chandramukhi then), and if she would be jealous if someone else took it over, she replied, "those feelings are but natural, it's all transient" - words ripe with wisdom. She was arrogance personified in that interview, but good things always come with a dash of an unpleasant taste! She said "like everything else, the No.1 spot is transient." The very day she took the crown, she had to realise that it was '
taken' from someone and that taught her that it was indeed very transient and that it would be passed on very soon too - 'taken' by someone too. It is just a matter of time. And when asked about why she isn't great friends with many in the industry (unlike Trisha and Shriya who apparently are the best buddies, and Nayan being their arch rival)she replied matter-of-factly "We are made to forget the difference that exists between an acquaintance and friendship these days. While it might elevate your sense of well-being considering the number of friends, more often than not, it terribly pulls down the worth of good friendship. Everyone gets passed on as friends" I thought what she said was total crap at that point of time, thought she didn't have the bliss of having so many people around, everyone of them deserving to be called the best of friends, the kind of people who make your life, the kind of people you can't live without. Never realized she had a point then.
She also made a very profound statement that just blew my mind away, after all these years.
" The only person who is going to be with you all-through your life is nobody except YOU, and when you expect someone else to be with you, it becomes a mistake of yours which you would more often end up regretting. You ought to be your best friend, philosopher and guide, the pillar of support and the proverbial shoulder to cry" OK, understandably, it's not quoted verbatim, it's my interpretation of what she said. But then, how true, how ripe with meaning! If we could get that thought into us, accept it in its whole, life becomes a lot more easier. Most of the issues that arise today in relationships, is probably because of unrealistically enormous expectations we have for the other person, while we never even bother about what might be expected of us. Having seen many a relationship go down like a pack of cards, it suddenly dawns on me that taking something for granted and thereby having huge expectations is the primary culprit, not just with relationships, but in a lot of other things in life as well.
One might argue this is the epitome of selfishness and this isn't a very good way to lead life. Let me clarify. I don't mean detachment here. I am not asking you to refrain from building trust and friendships that seem to engulf your life in totality. That's as close it can get to heavenly bliss. My point is this - Love the person, the place or the thing or your career or an idea as much as you do now. Just love, minus the expectations. There is no room for disappointment then, there is no room for accusations then. You are responsible for your actions in totality. Don't expect them to do something, behave in a way, just because they are what they are to you. Not even things as simple as calling you back when they see a missed call from you. Thereby, whatever nice comes to you,they do to you, all of it is just a sweet surprise, doubly sweet in a sense because it was unexpected. Doesn't that sound great? All the love for people and things minus all the pain that comes with it. Just take expectations out of the picture. Maybe I am wrong, but I am happy this way and that is it - my way of dealing with anybody and anything.
Another instance i would quote, is from a person who I can safely call my idol, my inspiration and just about everything of that sort.
Chinmayi. After every show of Airtel Super Singer she used to host, there used to be this elimination phase that's high on drama. Indeed, those tears have given the TRPs a boost like nothing else. (Super singer was the one that had the least bit of drama back then, when she used to host). And then while signing off, she used to say with her trademark 'goodbye' in multiple languages, a very profound statement, just fitting for someone as wise and as knowledgeable and as ready-to-learn as her. Something on the lines of 'Men may come and men may go' she used to say to the eliminated one, "We ll miss you here on the sets for sure, good luck to your future.. But viewers, all said,
NOBODY IS INDISPENSABLE AND THE SHOW SHALL GO ON" And the show shall go on. What a statement! Fit it into your life. How true!
Now as I somehow fit the pieces of my life to see a picture out of these 21 years, read chat archives, read whatever I had documented at various points of time about how I felt, i realize its true. Nayan and Chinmayi are absolutely right. You are your own best friend and more importantly, Nobody is indispensable. Let alone things. If that holds true for people, the question of things doesn't even arise.
So why all this ranting now? Obviously I am at this juncture of life that's high on emotion. Farewells are one of the toughest things to handle for a person like me. Like I've always said, I end up missing people, places and things very badly. But then, let me be frank. I have somehow gotten used to this 'missing people' story now. People I thought I could never live without, are now my gtalk buddies, just that. 'Hi, wazzup, bye.' Period. And I don't repent it, not either of our fault that we are just that kinda buddies. They would still figure among the 'best friends of my life' list. I would anyday thank God for bringing them into my life. I still call them midnight on their birthdays and would end up feeling really sad myself if I forget to do that. But I am not any more that close to them, like how I used to be, when they figure in every hour of my day that passes... Not any more so close that me or my friendship is needed to them to make their day, which implies, I am dispensable. Just as they have become to me.
Dispensable. That said, I should also admit that, that particular period of my life wouldn't have just been the same without them. If I am what I am, it is definitely because they formed a big part of the universe that conspired to make me what I am. Yes, they were indispensable in that sense, but only in that period of time.
Maybe, we should always define indispensability with an expiry date. No, don't paint a picture of me as someone who has 'use and throw' friends! Not at all. I've known from my friends that I've been a very good one at being a friend, a very helpful and trustworthy one at that. No, they weren't flattering me in slambooks. That's real coz that's what I have always strived to be - a good friend, to add a little more meaning to my life. A good friend, close to someone who seems to be indispensable... That's what I wish I always am and continue to be, come what may.
So this is to you, my dear friend, my dear well-wisher : I have always believed we were indispensable to each other and I thought we would be so, forever and ever. I really cherish the moment when you said my day isn't complete without you. I really liked it when I knew that you wouldn't be what you are, without my small role in your life. I really liked it when I could rejoice your successes as mine and cry in your tough times as though they were mine. I really assumed I was indispensable to you and it really seemed so, back then, and I know it was definitely not an illusion. But the bubble just burst. Pooh, there.. without a trace. I never thought you could ever live without me, but after a while, it now looks like you can.. since I now live without you. I shall admit I did miss you initially,with every single thing around reminding me of you and the wonderful moments together. But dear, let's face it. It's been a while now and the brain's memory is weirdly designed that you are indispensable no more.
Yes, I am my own best friend, the show called 'life' will go on even if you,
my friend, meri jaan, aren't part of it. And... The adjective 'indispensable', is a myth indeed!!
